I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
