Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
