Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
