my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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