Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
