remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
