You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
