I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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