i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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