Don't EVER smell your tampon
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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