You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
