At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
