wrigley field is MILF paradise
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
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maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
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