I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize