idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
