the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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