I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
