Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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