the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
