I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
