soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
