it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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