I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
