Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
