The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize