The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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