yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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