Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
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you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
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You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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