if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
