"it" just moved
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
