as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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