so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
