just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
