16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
