She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
where are my eyebrows?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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