hell yes lets make some ravioli
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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