I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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