He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
