so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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