I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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