His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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