I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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