just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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