Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
