So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
