i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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