Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
