The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize