yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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