He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
