Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
