on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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