Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
