wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
