i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
