Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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