Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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