I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
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YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
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Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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