the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
