I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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