At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Boobs speak an international language.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize
