I wish life had little blips of pornography
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
