dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
