wanna go halves on a baby?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
