So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
