i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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