Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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